I remember telling myself one Sunday afternoon while coming out of a restaurant with my 2 kids, "I totally enjoy being a mom. It is such a breeze and I think I am really good at this." That was a decade ago. We just finished our usual after-church lunch and reiterated to them the famous Ephesians 6:1, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." They were so eager to hear my examples and the promises it will bring them in the future if they obey. What a joy to see through their eyes how they honor your every word, how they believe in every explanation I gave.
Sigh.
Ten years after, boom! It hits you. They are all grown up. Each has the mind of his own. Very intelligent. Each knows how to win a debate and oftentimes keep me dumbfounded.
In one of the arguments I had with my eldest son, my past was brought up. The ever famous line "You also did the same thing, Ma". It was about my disapproval of him being in a relationship amidst flunking Mathematics in Ateneo. I didn't disapprove because of his low grades. I disapprove because of the lessons I learned the hardest way. Being a teenage mom at age 19, you can only imagine how hard life can be when everything was not going right. It will be a natural for you to make a promise to yourself to make a better mom for a better version of yourself in your kids, right?
However, lessons learned shouldn't be the sole reason for wanting to be a better parent and for wanting your kids to be your Version 2 Point Oh! The way we raise our children should always align with the biblical standards. From the simplest principle of dressing up modestly, to the hard-to-follow principle of purity -- and everything in between like waiting for God's best, seeking His will, being excellent in the season one is in. All these should guide our parenting. Or should I say, guide us per se.
Many can boast of what they have become or who they are now because of their past. That same path they took, they want their children to take. Logic dictates that, "If you did what I did, then you can become me". Don't we want them to be a better us? For it is not ourselves nor our accomplishments that our children should look up to. They just simply need to look up.
On the other hand, I have come to know some friends who are so obsessed with raising better children. These are parents who would concoct their own formulas to produce the kind of person they want their children to become. And I have seen some ugly results. It's either they end up hurting the child or other members of the family. It's just not right.
That's why we need true relationship with Jesus because only then we can realize how to align our hopes and our dreams for our children with God's will and purpose. It is written in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV). No plan can be better than His plans, right? Unless you think we are better than God...Uh oh.
We, parents, are God's appointed stewards of our children. We don't own our children. They are His and we are just their caretakers here on earth.
So don't possess them and don't be obsessed with them. They are not your masterpieces that you mold them to be like you or somebody. They should go after God's image, for such is the ultimate purpose of His creation.
And so today, in this parenting journey of mine, I'd like to believe that being parents to our children of any age, can still be a breeze. We can still pat our own backs and say "I am such a good parent", through Him and in Him.
To God be all the glory.
Next blog: I'll tell you how my son's argument with me ended up.
